NNU Update
Some pains hurt but silence kills
Niger Delta ex-militant leader, Paul Eris, aka General Ogunbos, has discovered that he is not the biological father of his son, Raymond, after 22 years.
Eris, who disclosed this in a Facebook post on Sunday, May 26, 2024, said Raymond’s biological mother and his ex-girlfriend, Helmina made the confession in the presence of his family elders.
According to him, she confessed that Raymond’s biological father was her father’s next door neighbour in Port Harcourt, who hails from Nembe in Bayelsa State.
Helmina further revealed that she was previously impregnated by Paul Eris but successfully aborted the baby.
However, when she got pregnant again by her father’s neighbour, she told Paul that the abortion wasn’t successful.
When Paul refused to accept responsibility for the pregnancy, she had the child and abandoned him with the ex-militant’s relatives at Onyoma community when he was 11 months old.
“Raymond is not my son. I have just handed over a 22 years old son to the mother, who by birth was not my biological child as claimed by his mother,” he wrote.
“Raymond’s mother, Mrs Helmina made this open confession in the presence of my family elders, & her cousin sister, Mrs Mercy Ogounga, she claimed; ‘I was impregnated by my father’s next door neighbour somewhere in Port Harcourt’. The man is from Nembe & not Peremabiri in Southern Ijaw Lga.
Though the boy’s mother insisted that I adopt him as my child since she had not mentioned any other name as his father from birth. But I declined the offer & insisted the boy be taken to his real father.
I took the child when the mother abandoned him to my relatives in small village called Onyoma at the age of 11 months. He had grown to be a man under my watch & went to one of the most expensive schools (Lead British International Schools) in Abuja, from primary to secondary.
Raymond school fees alone was N970,000.00 as of when he finished from secondary school. But that wasn’t the most painful side of the story, the most painful side of the story was losing someone you once shared as family, not because death took him away, but that you can not retain him because of birthrights that he is no long your child.
In 2018, I have built a 4 bedroom flat in the village for Helmina’s family as Raymond’s mother. Though I did out of free will & I do not regret my desire & share of goodwill. Though, it is painful.
You know what it means to bring up a child like a king, in the kind of comfort every poor or rich father will wish for his kids, only to end up that the child was another person’s own & not yours, this is painful. But just like I cannot share the love of my children with anyone, so equally I will not mix up my bloodline with another person’s blood as mine when God knows he is not, no I can’t.
Imagine when the elders of the family asked, ‘how old was the pregnancy when you took steps to change the father from your father’s next door neighbour to Paul Eris’? ‘4 months old’ she replied. ‘Are you saying one can just wake up to accept a 4 months old pregnancy without proper investigations to ascertain the true nature of the child’, the elders asked again?
He argued that the child was not his own right from birth, but I abandoned the child with his far relatives at Onyoma community when the boy was 7 months old & ran to Port Harcourt, that was how he went back to carry the child’, Helmina replied.
Well, I have tried to keep the pain since then, knowing life is pain, & pains are signs of courage in every beautiful life you intend to make. Don’t get angry, don’t fight or rush pain, as long as pain van teach you gently as it can do to the other person.
Just like no one will say to hold a permanent empty heart is easy, I also don’t want to confront it. This pain is my privilege, I don’t want to continue to get a grip on it. The worst is to get killed by silence, some pains hurt but silence kills.
I have tried to turn cold after asking the mother to return the boy to his biological father, & that will give me an immense pleasure, but people still keep the feelings like he is my son, this is why am turning up.
Please Raymond is no more my son, accept it & let’s move on. To me, he looks very irritating because I cannot adopt him as his mother wished. We shared all the love for 22 years, we can’t continue boy, bye!!
