Rules Of Engagement In Marriage

“A gentle response defuses anger.” Proverbs 15:1 TM

EVEN IN the best of marriages arguments will arise from time to time. With two people of differing temperaments, tastes, and ways of thinking, how could it be otherwise? So here are a few rules of engagement:

(1) Think before you speak. Ask yourself if fear, stress, or worry may have provoked your mate’s response. Is it bothering you right now because you are feeling insecure and unappreciated? Could you be misreading or exaggerating the problem? Take time to try and identify what’s really happening.

(2) Ask for what you need. It’s okay to admit that some days you are needier than others. Dr. Gary Oliver says: “When a woman feels panicked every time her husband comes home late because her previous husband had an affair…it’s okay to say, ‘I know it’s irrational, but I’m having a panicky day.’ That kind of honesty strengthens a relationship.”

(3) Never threaten. Threats just make your mate defensive and insecure. As a result, they can’t hear what you’re saying and nothing gets resolved.

(4) Ditch the baggage from previous relationships. The Bible says, “Love…always looks for the best…never looks back” (1Corinthians 13:4-7 TM). It’s wrong to make your mate keep “proving” themselves over and over again. Don’t assume that old relationship problems are destined to keep repeating themselves. They won’t if you’re communicating and growing.

(5) Say something nice to your mate every day. Any time you think something good about your spouse, stop and tell them. And when they reciprocate, respond graciously to what they’re saying. Remember, sharp words can create wounds, but “a gentle response defuses anger.”

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202 Replies to “Rules Of Engagement In Marriage”

  1. For relationship of couple to last, they must avoid suspicion and jealousy so as not to ridicule or ruin their marriage.

  2. Very interesting, I wish I can go with all these rules without missing any to avoid break up and I wish who ever my partner will be, she should understand this as well.

  3. The whole universe is governed by laws. How much less engagement and marriage. People should learn from this article and improve upon their relationship

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