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By Bianca Iboma-Emefu
Aderonke Erinle is an entrepreneur. Having lived with her grandparents, growing up was an adventurous experience as she saw firsthand, what it meant to care for the elderly. That has influenced current path. 18 years, down the line, her project on the welfare of the elderly thrives on.
However, her passion for women and matters of the heart came to light recently, precisely on Valentine’s Day with a programme tagged “Spice It” which aimed to rekindle intimacy and bonding in marriages.
Daily Sun caught up with her. She gave an insight on critical issues affecting women on a broader level and urged women to embrace opportunities in leadership positions. She also shared her perception on gender roles in contemporary Yoruba society.
You had a show during the Valentine period tagged “Spice It” for married couples? What did you want to achieve with this initiative?
“Spice It” is an initiative aimed at rekindling intimacy and bonding in marriages, regardless of how long the couple has been together. It’s an opportunity to celebrate love during the Valentine’s season while addressing the challenges couples face. The goal is to remind people that love, while important, can fade. What keeps a marriage going is friendship and respect. I want couples to feel energized and inspired to nurture their relationships, even during tough times.
In light of recent marital challenges faced by young couples, what would you tell those women striving to maintain their marriages despite difficulties?
Women often carry the weight of making their marriages work, but it’s important to recognize that there are challenges that sometimes feel insurmountable. My advice is for women to understand their value and to always prioritize self-love. Empowering oneself, whether through career or personal growth, is essential. Marriage is a partnership, and both partners must continue to respect and support each other. Women should never lose their identity in a marriage. It’s crucial to maintain personal growth and seek counseling if needed. There’s no shame in asking for help to work through issues.
In Nigerian society, there are times of extreme pressures to stay in a marriage, even when it becomes toxic. How do you think we can change this mindset?
It is heartbreaking when people stay in abusive or harmful marriages because they feel they have no other option. The perception that marriage is a do-or-die situation is damaging. Women often stay because of societal pressures or for the sake of children, while men may feel trapped in a relationship they no longer want to continue. We need to promote the idea that personal well-being should come first. If a relationship is harmful, it’s okay to walk away. We need to redefine the societal narrative around marriage and encourage healthier, more honest conversations.
But for women who strive to succeed in today’s fast-evolving world, especially with the advancements in technology and shifting gender roles, what do you say to them?
Women should believe in themselves and pursue their dreams without fear. Whether in education, career, or personal development, there’s no limit to what a woman can achieve. Women are breaking barriers in fields that were once male-dominated, from mechanics to politics. It’s important to empower girls to excel academically and professionally, and to never depend on anyone financially. Financial independence is key to self-empowerment.
They should also embrace opportunities in leadership, including politics, where we still need more female voices. I co-founded “Evolving Women in Politics,” a platform that encourages women to participate in political affairs. Women are multi-taskers by nature, and we have the strength to thrive in any field.
How do traditional gender roles influence the lives of women in Yoruba culture?
Traditional gender roles in Yoruba culture have often placed men in leadership and public spheres while women have been seen primarily as caretakers, homemakers, and contributors to community well-being. This has sometimes limited women’s participation in public discussions or decision-making, especially in settings like community meetings or traditional councils. However, women also hold significant positions in Yoruba society, such as priestesses or leaders in religious contexts, which showcase the dual nature of gender roles.
How does the Yoruba religion impact the roles of women in society?
The Yoruba religion, which combines indigenous beliefs with Christianity and Islam, features powerful female deities such as Oshun, the goddess of love, fertility, and water. Women have historically held important religious offices as priestesses and spiritual leaders. These roles highlight the powerful influence women can have in certain areas, despite the existence of restrictions in other social spheres.
Has there been any change in the way gender roles are perceived in contemporary Yoruba society?
Yes, of course. There has been significant change in contemporary Yoruba society. As education and modernization have spread, more Yoruba women are now actively participating in public life, including politics, business, and education. This shift has helped challenge some of the traditional gender boundaries, especially in urban areas, and has led to a growing recognition of the importance of gender equality.
Is there a difference in inheritance practices between the Yoruba and other ethnic groups in Nigeria?
Cultural practices around inheritance can vary among different ethnic groups in Nigeria. While there are challenges related to inheritance in some communities, particularly in the eastern parts of the country, the Yoruba generally recognize that both male and female children have inheritance rights. This stands in contrast to some cultures where male children are given priority over female heirs.
What role does the concept of “olórí ìdílé” play in the Yoruba family structure?
The concept of “olórí ìdílé,” or the “head of the family,” plays a significant role in Yoruba family structures. Traditionally, male children are often seen as having the authority and position of leadership within the family, while female children are expected to fulfill domestic duties such as household chores.
This cultural belief has led to the perception that male children hold a more powerful position in the family, sometimes leading to the marginalization of female children in terms of opportunities and recognition.
Given the above, how does the cultural belief that male children are more important affect the aspirations of female children in Yoruba society?
The cultural belief that male children hold a more important role in the family can limit the aspirations and opportunities of female children. Girls may be expected to do more household chores while their male counterparts are encouraged to focus on their education and future careers.
This can create a sense of inequality and prevent girls from reaching their full potential, as they are often conditioned to believe that their ultimate role is to marry and care for a family, rather than pursue their dreams and ambitions.
How do traditional norms and cultural beliefs impact the relationship between parents and their children, particularly in the case of daughters?
Traditional norms and cultural beliefs can create tension between parents and their daughters. Parents who adhere to these beliefs may prioritize the education and success of their male children, while overlooking the potential of their daughters. This can lead to feelings of frustration and unfulfilled dreams for many girls, who may feel that their worth is primarily tied to marriage rather than their personal growth and career aspirations. These cultural practices can be difficult to challenge, as they are deeply ingrained and seen as a part of the family’s tradition
Why do some Yoruba families continue to uphold these gender beliefs and practices, despite the changing times?
Many Yoruba families continue to uphold these gendered beliefs and practices because they are deeply rooted in tradition and cultural norms. These practices have been passed down through generations, and for many, they represent an integral part of their identity and way of life. The idea of challenging or changing these practices can be viewed as a break from tradition, which can be met with resistance. Additionally, the influence of previous generations, and the belief that this is how things have always been done, often makes it difficult for families to re-evaluate their attitudes towards gender roles and women’s rights.
What can be done to address the challenges faced by women in Yoruba culture?
To address the challenges faced by women in Yoruba culture, there needs to be a concerted effort to promote education and awareness about gender equality. This includes encouraging both boys and girls to pursue their aspirations without limitations and challenging traditional norms that restrict women’s rights. Furthermore, involving men in conversations about gender equality, creating supportive environments for women to engage in public life, and emphasizing the positive contributions women make in society can help shift cultural perceptions. Over time, as modernization continues to influence traditional values, there is hope that the roles of women will be more recognized and celebrated.
You take special interest in care and welfare of the elderly. What do you think the government can do to help?
I was moved by watching my mother care for my grandparents in their final days. It became clear to me that many elderly people, especially those without family support, need better care. I believe the government should invest in facilities and programs dedicated to the elderly. Although NGOs are doing important work, government involvement is crucial to ensure proper care.
Elderly people often become fragile, dependent on medication, and in need of regular companionship. In some parts of the world, there are government-funded programs to assist the elderly, and I believe we can adapt such programs to our local culture and needs.
English (US) ·