Imagine this scenario: a 7-year-old girl asks her mother, “What does it mean to be pregnant?” Or a 10-year-old boy asks his dad, “Why do I have two balls and not one?” At this moment, parents will either freeze because they didn’t expect such a question so early or think about how best to explain it in the simplest way. This is the reality that Nigerian parents and schools face today.
The children of this generation are fast learners. With early exposure to the internet, TV, and even interactions with their peers, their knowledge grows rapidly, exposing them to things parents never imagined they would understand or never thought of teaching because they were at an early age.
So, the big question is: Should children be taught sex education at a young age? To achieve a balanced view on this topic, this writer spoke with key influencers, including school heads and parents.
What School Heads Say
Proprietors and headmistresses agreed that underage children need some form of sex education, but the debate is when and how it is appropriate to introduce the subject to them.
Some believe that it should start as early as nursery school, using simple terms, to teach children about “good touch” and “bad touch.” While others insist, it should be left to the parents to handle.
Headmistress of St Paul Catholic Primary School, Mrs Akintomide, M. T thinks that Sex education should be taught at ages 4-5 years, if we keep shying away from this topic, someone else will teach them, either online or wrongly from friends. We must guide them early.
A proprietor of a private primary and secondary school who asked to remain anonymous added that teaching children about sex education is crucial, but the challenge lies in the method of teaching it, which must be in a simple and effective way without confusion. She noted that in their school, they use songs during assembly:
If you touch my private part, I will tell. I will tell it to my teacher, tell it to my mummy, tell it to my daddy, if you touch my private part, I will tell, she said.
Additionally, the class teachers are instructed to incorporate this topic through songs, rhymes, and daily affirmations during classroom activities, particularly in health education classes.
What Parents Think
Based on the responses we received, it seems parents are divided on the matter. Some argue that schools should stick to basic subjects such as Mathematics and English, leaving sex education talks to the parents. Others believe both the parents and teachers should share the responsibility of teaching the children. A few others admitted that it’s difficult to teach and explain this topic to their children, so they implored the schools to provide assistance.
A housewife and mother of three said, Children are already asking questions. If we don’t guide them, they will find answers themselves.
A father of four disagreed: Let the children stay innocent, talking too early on this topic only stirs curiosity, a saying goes that ‘Curiosity killed the cat”.
A career woman and mother of two children stood against the act of silence: When training kids, silence isn’t the best tool to use; you need to talk and sometimes shout for you to pass information to them. For me, I started teaching my daughter and son at age 3, they are twins, they are 10 years now. I will always say this to them; ‘Any body that touches your chest or bum-bum, make sure you tell me oo’.
She went further to narrate her experience: One day, my daughter ran to me and said her uncle touched her in her private part. Much earlier, I had warned that no one except the nanny should bathe or change diapers for my kids in my absence. When I confronted the uncle, he denied at first but eventually confessed after one of my female house keepers confessed he had been abusing her too.
Talking about sex has long been a taboo in Nigerian homes, but times are changing, and abuse cases are rising. For every day a child uses a phone or an iPad, whether theirs or a friend’s, they are exposed to adult content online, both the positives and negatives. Silence is no longer protection; it has become a silent killer.
Sex education is not about teaching children how to have sex. It is about helping them know their bodies, understand boundaries, and speak up when something is wrong.
What are the necessary steps?
The Federal Ministry of Education, schools, and parents must unite in full force and work hand in hand. Teachers must be trained, parents must be open and intentional, and children must be protected.
At the end of the day, the question is not whether our children will learn about sex but from whom. Will it be the internet, their peers, or us?
