Today, we take off the gloves. Yes, some men deserve to feel the impact of a hard punch delivered with bare knuckles. No pretences, no diplomatic niceties and no desire for political correctness.
It is annoying when some ladies fail to see red lights flashing all over the men they have romantic interest and yet they simply act blind, and begin waste time with a useless man.
Let’s tee off like in golf: a man who jumps from one bed to another, chasing anything in a skirt is not a man of discipline, but a slave to his lust. Obviously, he has no respect for his body, no regard for the covenant and no vision for the future. He spreads his seeds carelessly leaving broken hearts and sometimes fatherless children. Such men come back home with all manner of diseases to infect their wives. A popular socialite’s wife walked out on her marriage and allegedly said: “I am tired of treating infection.”
Such a man cannot be trusted with loyalty because he does not respect himself. A dog may bark, but they also stray, so does a man who lives a life of sexual recklessness. That is how he will continue to live his own life and also with any woman who tries to build with him. For this reason and many more, a lady must look before she leaps. This situation has led many ladies into their early grave.
Another set of men that women should be careful with are the ones that lavish their hard-earned money on women. A man who works so hard only to waste his money on side chicks, drinks, and fleeting pleasure is a fool. He is equally writing his own obituary through the conduct of his life. Instead of investing in his future, he invests in lust. Instead of building assets, he builds memories of shame. A man like this will never create wealth. He will always live in poverty because his money has no direction. Money in the hands of a wise man builds empires, but money in the hands of a hopeless man is fire that will burn his destiny.
Men who pursue women instead of pursuing dreams are not mentally steady. A man who spends his days chasing women instead of chasing purpose is already finished. While others are focusing on building financial stability, such men are busy trying to impress women with what they do not have. They seem to forget that a man with vision will naturally attract the right women while men who spend their lives busy chasing women will lose both money and future.
This is the picture of one man in my neighbourhood. He is popularly known as Mr Ben, a lone-ranger in his immediate family. He is always seen with a black polythene bag which contains either two or three wraps of fufu or noodles. Most times, he is seen with food from food vendors. At over 70 years, he does his domestic works by himself while living with his matured children. The story about him got into the grapevine. “He made good money in his heydays from his trade as a clearing and forwarding agent but lavished it on his bevy of women.”
From private information, the man was a dreamless man who was also a desperate man. His distraction therefore, never built destiny. You can very well imagine what his young wife and children must have gone through his hands as he indulged in playing ‘away matches’ across town. Today he is reaping the fruits of his shameful labour.
Ladies, men were created to head and lead their families. When a man desires a woman in a relationship, he would do all to get her into his romantic net. So, while listening to his sugar-coated “I love you” talk, all your senses should be on red alert, to pick up the warning signals. Do not be carried away. Watch out for the red flags before falling head over heels into a relationship with a man, Again, I say, watch out for the red lights signs. When you see them, do not hesitate, negotiate, wait or argue about them, because you might not be the change agent.
Do something simple: run away from men who have no backbones. They do not stand as men of value; instead they reduce themselves to beggars of affection. They rather beg women to stay and love them. They make endless calls, crying shamelessly and humiliate themselves before others. No woman would be proud of such a man, be it a blood relative or one in a love-tango relationship.
Ladies, you honestly need to hear this: the moment a man has to beg for love, he has already lost his value. A real man commands respect not through tears and desperation. His character, charisma and carriage will always speak for him. When love is begged for, it is never respected but only tolerated until something better shows up. This is one of the reasons some strong women who leave their marriages never look back.
Another dangerous red flag in relationships is domestic violence. The lowest point of a man’s existence is when he raises a hand against his woman. Violence does not make him strong, but exposes his weakness. Men who beat women are not men enough. They are cowards dressed in trousers. No matter their excuses, abuse is not love. A useless man abuses his woman, but a real man protects, loves, cares and uplifts his woman. Any woman who stays with an abusive man or in an abusive relationship is not in a relationship at all; she is in a battle field that will one day consume her. Uncountable women have gone down through domestic violence. One of such cases was late Osinachi Nwachukwu, a Nigerian gospel musician who achieved popularity through the popular song, ‘Ekwueme.’ Her death was as a result of domestic violence. Her husband, Peter Nwachukwu was arrested in connection with her death, investigated, charged to court, found guilty and was sentenced to death. While Osinachi rots in the grave, and the abusive husband sentenced to death and now on death row in the prison, what has become of their children? Who can be a better father and mother to their children in life? With this and many other cases, the new mantra for women is: “If your husband is abusive, leave immediately.” It only takes a living wife to be in marriage. A dead wife does not marry.
Again ladies, run away from a man with zero self-control. Self-control is the foundation of maturity. A man who cannot control his anger is a man headed for destruction. He fights everyone, drinks excessively, spends recklessly and falls into temptation at every opportunity. Remarkably, without self-control, he will destroy every good thing that enters his life. A man who cannot discipline himself will never be able to lead a family. A clueless man does not only waste his life, he wastes the life of many who attach themselves to him. He drains energy, destroys peace and delays destinies. A man without self-control will never be useful even to himself. He would have shot himself in the leg because no amount of beauty, sex, can transform such a man until he purges himself of his iniquities.
When a man stops communicating with you as his woman, when he does not initiate conversations, would not carry you along in his decisions, you need to watch him carefully. When he takes long time before reaching out to you, that is an obvious red flag. When the man who once said ‘I loved you’ no longer shows interest in what you do, when he tries to avoid you when you try to reach out to him, it shows he is not interested in the relationship anymore and he does not care about the feelings and the needs of his woman anymore.
So, ladies, take a moment to reflect and reason. Are you dating a useless man or a worthy man that your parent, relations and friends would be proud of? It might sound funny but this is the truth. If you see these signs in your man, know that it is time to get up and get away from the toxic relationship. That realisation should be the impetus rebuild, repackage and reposition yourself for better opportunities.
