Stats: 772,677 members, 231,146 posts. Date: April 23, 2019, 3:35 am

Is my boss ashamed of me?

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Dear Bunmi,

Two years ago, I started dating my boss, who is 10 years older than me and divorced. Away from the office, our relationship is great. I’ve met his kids and we’re now talking about me moving in with him. However, he refuses to tell anyone at work that we’re a couple and acts as if he barely knows me. I don’t want special treatment, but I’m starting to think he must be ashamed of me.



Felicia, by e-mail.

Dear Felicia,

Why don’t you have a word with your man about how you feel? I’m sure he’s not ashamed of you. He’s just worried about how people will take the news. He might be wary of how his own boss would take the news or accuse him of being unprofessional. For all you know, most of your colleagues would have cottoned on to what is going on and just play along with you.

Tell him how you feel about this secrecy. In the meantime, why don’t you start looking into jobs elsewhere? It’s possible to work alongside your other half, but if you can move, it might be easier for both of you.


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