Marriage Requires Effective Communication, Understanding – Prophetess Joy Okechukwu 

 rophetess Joy Tony Okechukwu of Grace Abode Miracle Ministry located at Ogba, in Lagos, is a devoted woman of God with a deep passion for strong marriages and families. Her teachings focus on relationships, especially among couples, and women’s empowerment. This passion led her to establish The Leading Woman Prophetic International Ministry, a weekly prophetic programme that attracts both men and women. She is married to Pastor Tony Okechukwu, the Senior Pastor of Grace Abode Miracle Ministry. In this interview with NGOZI UMA, she shares key insights on building a successful marriage and leading a ministry as a woman, Excerpt:

 Could you tell us about the Leading Women Prophetic Ministry? When was it birthed and how has it impacted lives? 

The Leading Woman Prophetic International Ministry was birthed on April 18, 2023. The ministry has transformed many lives, physically, spiritually, maritally and financially. This ministry has brought joy into many homes and marriages through our teachings from the Bible. Our ministry has taught many women and has given them the idea to start profitable businesses and manage their resources. The ministry has opened the eyes of destiny women and has helped them to discover who they are in Christ Jesus. 

You are passionate about healthy marriages. What do you think are the major causes of broken marriages? 

They include lack of fear of God, lack of communication, lack of commitment from the couples. Lack of communication, this is another factor that causes broken marriages. Marriage needs effective communication. Another cause is infertility. This can give birth to unfaithfulness and kill trust in marriage. I advise men to be there for their wives in times of waiting. No one gives a child. God is the giver of children and He has time for everything. Another thing that causes broken marriages is financial problems. You cannot put finance out of marriage, or challenges, especially when there is no mutual understanding between the husband and wife. 

Many marriages are crashing. Do you think it is right for couples to divorce? 

The Bible frowns at divorce. In Matthew 19 verse 8 says, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” That is Jesus speaking. Telling the people how dangerous it’s is. But, looking at our society today, a lot of people are facing domestic marriages. This is affecting them, both emotionally and psychologically. For the sake of mental health and life I will advise the couple to give a break and not a separation for a while. Once the matter has been taken to the altar, families and friends are involved. To avoid one going missing, we will advise for a break and not a separation; a short break while family and friends support them in prayers. And going to check their differences in order to come together to amend it. In Romans chapter 8 verse 38 and 39, it says, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, [39] Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” To couples, nothing should be enough to bring about separation. That is the work of the devil that can’t be God. 

Are there road maps to a successful marriage? 

Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5 and 6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Marriage is a journey and it’s a journey of two but when God is ahead of the marriage it’s bound to be successful trusting God and putting him ahead. Do not lean on your own understanding. Many have failed. They believe they are professionals, learned and have all it takes. Such fellows will fall. Never rush into marriage, study and understand what marriage is about. Read Christian books, attend marriage seminars, be counselled and know who is counselling you at a time, one cannot give what he/she doesn’t have. It’s important you know who your counselor is. Allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you. Don’t lean on your own understanding. The Bible also told us in the book Matthew 6: 33, “But seek ye the kingdom of God and his righteousness and every other things will be added unto you”, including marriage and wisdom. The book of James, says, ”If you lack wisdom, ask of God, God is the giver of wisdom.” Marriage is all about wisdom, understanding, love, knowledge, kindness and compassion. Couples should hand over their marriage to God, husbands should love their wives in all things, according to Colossians chapter 3 verse 18 and 19, wives should submit in all things as it’s in Christ, Children should obey their parents. Finance is a key in moving forward of the home, but requires fear of God, maturity and understanding. 

There are cases where women give up their own dreams after marriage to care for their husbands and children. What advice do you have for Nigerian women who are struggling to keep their homes and dreams? 

The book of Ecclesiasts chapter 3 verse 1, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” This means that every event or experience in life has its designated time. For your dream to come true, you both have to come together in mutual understanding, marriage is not to kill your dream as a woman, or as man. Marriage adds. Marriage is an advantage, not a disadvantage. All you need to do is for both of you to respect one another, honour one another. The family is important which comprises the husband, the children, and others. What you need to do is to set a goal. Know the first, know the last. None will suffer when you come together to reason it out. I advise when it comes to young ladies, when you are going into marriage, marry your husband. If you marry somebody who is not your husband, you will be disappointed. If you marry your husband, your husband will know this is his body. There is no way I can harm my body, but, add to my body. Once you marry the right person, the right things will come to you. He will agree with you. A woman has to set her priorities right while trying to achieve her dreams so that the peace of the family will not be affected. The family is important and your dream is important, too. Put them one after the other. Marriage requires effective communication and understanding.