Hikes: DSTV too?

For the fuel hike, we had no option, subsidy had to go. Dollar hike? Not many people use the US dollar or transact with it, but our economy is dependent on it, and the exchange rate is hugely important. Somehow, in our economy, the naira/dollar rate determines the price of sugarcane and vegetables. The use of our forex reserves to defend the naira or peg it at a certain rate had to go, as there wasn’t enough forex to keep doing this. It didn’t make sense to borrow forex only to have it frittered away in the name of giving the naira a pseudo-value. Call it a dollar hike, it had to come. 

Then came the energy hike, as electricity tariffs went sky-high. Government was subsidising the power generated as the Discos weren’t making enough money to cover the power they were receiving from the Gencos. Power subsidy was almost as bad as the fuel subsidy. The Electricity Act 2023, provides that activities in the generation, transmission, distribution, trading, supply, system operation, and electricity distribution franchising are subject to regulation by the Nigeria Electricity Regulatory Commission, NERC; with a methodology that allows the licensees to operate efficiently, to recover costs from their business activities, and a reasonable return on investments. This we are still struggling with as the Senate recently put on hold, recommendations from the investigative hearing on the proposed electricity tariff hike by the NERC, conducted by its committee on power.  

Similarly, there has been a lot of uproar from the public over the telcos tariff hike on calls and data. The telcos were gunning for a 100% tariff hike. The NCC, regulators of the telecommunications industry, approved a 50% hike. To make matters worse, the telcos implemented a hike of between 100 to 200%. The general public noticed and immediately went haywire over this monstrous hike. Regrets and apologies filled the airwaves and the telcos apologised and adjusted to the 50% approved hike by the government. 

Labour continued to wage war against the hike, and it has been reported that the 50% hike had been re-negotiated to a 35% hike after a meeting between labour, the NCC, the telcos and the NSA. Time shall tell whether these reports are true or not; and whether the telcos will yield to the new percentage increase. The telcos have begun sending out warnings that services may stop due to shortages in the supply of diesel. But Dangote has just issued a statement reducing the price of diesel and petrol while emphasising that his refinery has over 600 billion worth of products in stock. 

Just as we were about recovering from one hike or the other DSTV is coming back to us with another hike. I stopped my subscriptions for one reason or another but largely due to costs, as many other customers have. I have received countless calls from DSTV, asking me to renew. They even suggested a smaller package if I could not afford my premium bouquet. I retorted, “I want my full premium for my sports, and if I can’t have it I don’t need your other packages”! From being courteous, I became angrier and more impatient with my responses. Why are you forcing me to patronise you when you are exorbitant? The last call I received from DSTV went thus: I picked up, hissed, and ended it immediately after the caller started speaking..”I am ‘kiniko kiniko’ from DSTV”.

DSTV should know that if power and foodstuffs are a necessity (by the way, foodstuff prices are coming down bigly), DSTV is a luxury. A luxury we can no longer afford. DSTV, to make it worse, is not a pay-per-view satellite TV network. You pay a monthly charge, and it melts away, whether used or unused, once it is month’s end. Besides, football is the star viewing pleasure their network provides, and the tonnes of channels are not anything to write home about. Their movies are gravely outdated, their series are archaic, and all of them are produced by Dick Wolf; pun intended perhaps? DSTV should know and understand that while the Nigerian market is huge and they have run a monopoly, their customers are not as buoyant as they used to be, and viewing pleasures and viewing avenues are evolving. If you want to watch/listen to music, there’s YouTube and a host of other apps online. So is Netflix for movies and series; more current movies and series compared to you know who.

If the price of rice, beans and garri is coming down, who is DSTV not to bring prices down? This price hike ‘wallahi tallahi ko le work’. You will be losing customers. Try the pay-per-view service, or enhance your channels with better and updated movies and series. As a football fan, why would I pay for a bouquet when I’m not sure if my team’s matches would be covered by that bouquet? Why not make a package for football viewers where they can watch all the games in the leagues you cover? I have given you a piece of my mind as your customer for so many decades. I assure you that I am not taking out my team’s poor performance on you. 

It is a bad time for you, as Man United, with the highest viewers worldwide, are having a bad time. A huge number of your viewers would be disgruntled fans, with the added discomfort of your ill-timed price increment. It is called ‘Double wahala’. You are discouraging them from subscribing. I am giving you a frank talk about the minds and dispositions of your customers. Labour will not bother about you as your prices have nothing to do with minimum wage earners. People are finding apps online and watching what they can afford to. Your style is old school and you know what happens to anything old school. DSTV, don’t say I didn’t do anything for you after all these years! Be innovative and drop this price increase. A Hausa proverb says, “shiru ma magana ne”, meaning, silence too is an answer. You may just stop hearing from your subscribers.