“English Is A Stupid Language” A Poem By Papadoh

There is no egg in eggplant
No ham in hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, Why didn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?!
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where
A house can burn up as it burns down
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes. When stars are out they are visible
But when lights are out they are invisible.

  1. Blessing Ndukwe2 months agoReply


  2. Sunday Oyewole2 months agoReply

    Wow! A wonderful poem there…

  3. Olawale Emmanuel2 months agoReply

    Yes is true

  4. yahaya safiya2 months agoReply

    What a wonderful peom

  5. Suleiman Muhammad2 months agoReply

    Good poem

  6. Paul Frederick2 months agoReply

    well drafted

  7. Adesina abdulmaleek2 months agoReply

    What a good poem

  8. Bernard Ose2 months agoReply

    Yes is true

  9. Olabode Blessing2 months agoReply


  10. Ezekiel Ihejika2 months agoReply

    That’s dose not make sense

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