You post your soft-life snaps, a quick gym mirror update, or a Sunday selfie, and boom, they’ve seen it. Again. You can’t tell if it’s a coincidence or they’re stalking you.
Before now, breakups often ended with distance. You delete numbers, return their stuff, cry and move on. But today, with apps like Instagram and Snapchat, closure has a “view count.”
Now, your ex doesn’t need to call to see how you’re doing; they just watch your stories as if to remind you, “I’m still here”.
The Post-Breakup Surveillance Game
Honestly? Modern breakups are weird. You’re not together, but you’re still in each other’s algorithm. You mute, they unmute. You block, they use burner accounts. You heal, and they drop a “👀” reaction just when you finally stop thinking about them. Why?
For some, this could read as control in disguise; a way to linger and stay relevant in your head. For others, well, it’s harmless curiosity.
Simi, a friend of mine, once confided in me about her stalking ex, Wale. She’s been my friend for years, but Wale has known her longer than I have. One day, she noticed he had popped up on her Instagram Stories, and he hasn’t stopped since.
They’ve been broken up for over five months, and now she wonders why he’s back after being the one who ended things. She says sometimes he’d even react with “🔥” emojis. When she eventually asked why, he said, “I just like seeing what you’re up to.” But to Simi, it feels as though he wants to remind her he’s still there, watching.
Creepy.
Why Your Ex Might Still Be Watching
No reason is ever good enough, but let’s look at a few anyway. Try seeing things from their POV:
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Nostalgia: Maybe they miss you. Not enough to come back, but enough to wonder how you’re doing.
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Ego: They want to see if you’re still sad, or worse, thriving without them.
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Guilt: Sometimes watching your stories is a subtle apology, “I still care, even if I can’t say it.”
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Habit: You used to be their daily routine; it’s hard to unlearn that.
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Curiosity:. Because who doesn’t occasionally check an ex’s page “just to see”? Let’s be real.
But the real problem isn’t always them. Sometimes it’s you. You notice their views because part of you still wants to be seen. You post a little extra fine, hoping they’ll see what they lost.
We know, we know. No judgements here. It’s okay. But that’s where the emotional tug-of-war begins.
Harmless or Emotional Sabotage?
This depends on various factors. Some people genuinely just scroll and stumble on your story. Others deliberately linger to keep you from moving on completely.
If seeing their name in your viewer list still stirs something, it’s a sign that you haven’t healed as much as you thought. Their watch becomes your weakness. And that’s when harmless curiosity turns into emotional sabotage.
Because if you’re posting to get a reaction, and they’re watching to get a rise out of you, nobody’s really free. It’s just two people stuck in a digital feedback loop of attention and ego. Do you see the picture?
So, What Do You Do When Your Ex Won’t Stop Watching?
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Don’t overthink it. Sometimes it’s just boredom. Don’t give every view emotional weight.
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Mute or restrict them. You don’t owe them access to your peace.
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Stop performing healing. You don’t have to prove you’ve moved on. Heal offline.
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If it’s affecting you, block, unapologetically. Keep them boundaries, sis (or bro).
Remember this: Their view doesn’t mean they want you back. Social media gives us the illusion of connection, but healing requires disconnection.
So if your ex is still watching, let them. You’re living, not performing. Eventually, they’ll get tired, or you’ll stop caring. Either way, it’s a win.
