Nigerian medical doctor and social media personality Aproko Doctor recently ignited a heated debate on social media about the appropriateness of adults referring to children as “My Wife” and “My Husband.”
“My Husband” and “My Wife” are not for Children – Aproko Doctor
Taking to X on October 3, 2025, he wrote, “Adults should stop referring to kids as ‘my husband’ or ‘my wife’. Stop it,” referring to the age-old tradition of using ‘my wife/husband’ as a term of endearment when referring to children.
The statement has divided opinions online. The practice of calling children “my husband” or “my wife” cuts across many Nigerian households and is often seen as harmless.
It’s a widely used term by adults to endearingly refer to children. Its usage cuts across culture and is generally light-hearted rather than a declaration of intention to marry the child in question.
However, Aproko Doctor’s words echo the concern of adults who believe the term is appropriate for kids. These people, like Aproko Doctor, opine that the term is a passive acceptance of harmful language that exposes children to danger.
Adults should stop referring to kids as "my husband" or "my wife"
Stop it.— Dr. Chinonso Egemba (@aproko_doctor) October 3, 2025
Many users sided with the doctor, insisting that terms like these create a false sense of security that can be exploited by predators. For them, the endearing term has become increasingly more dangerous, especially in a society where children are increasingly exposed to abuse.
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“That’s how molestation starts,” one user wrote, stressing that children should not be sexualized in any form, even in jest.
That's how molestation starts
— kingsley Okechukwu Okafor (@Cesck_Ozil) October 3, 2025
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Others, however, defended the practice, particularly within Yoruba culture. Several respondents explained that phrases like “oko mi” (my dear/my husband) are not literal but rather expressions of affection or reverence.
What do Everyday Nigerians think about this?
The discussion prompted conversations regarding child safety and sexual harassment, so we spoke to some Nigerians about whether they consider the use of “My husband” and “My wife” to be endearing or harmful.
It leads to other forms of abuse – Ejiro
I feel like little things like this are why we have so many problems in our society. People look away from these things while completely disregarding how calling people’s children ‘my husband/wife’ has led to other things or spawned into sexual harassment/abuse.
Imagine calling someone who isn’t your friend ‘my friend’ for a long time, and after a while, you would start to believe it. It’s the same thing as calling children your wife or husband.
It depends on the intention – Adeayo
It depends on who says it, in my opinion. When a woman calls a male child ‘oko mi,’ it doesn’t seem as disturbing or aggressive. However, if the wrong person is saying it, and there’s a danger of using the term as a path to potential abuse, then it’s harmful.
It creates a false sense of security – Agnes
I think adults should actually stop calling children their husband or wife because it perpetuates abuse even when the adult has no intentions to. It creates a false sense of security, so the children may not tell the parents if any abuse occurs.
Would stopping it stop abuse from happening? – Nurudeen
I’m not an expert in child psychology, so I don’t know what endearments do to children.
However, I think that it is something that has been passed down from generation to generation and is a way of showing care.
I do understand that the phrase has been taken advantage of by pedophiles and abusers due to the unsaid meanings of it; they may use it to lure the kids in and make them feel comfortable before abusing them. The question I think we should now ask ourselves is ‘If people stop calling children my husband/wife, would that stop child abusers?’
It would be better if people didn’t say it anymore – Ifeduyi
I think it’s very dicey in the sense that, does it perpetuate abuse? I don’t think so, but does it mask abuse? Yes.
To err on the side of caution, I suppose it might be easier not to say it; it depends on who says it to the kid. However, I suppose that, due to the growing number of abuse cases, it would be better if people didn’t do it anymore.
It is weird– Brooks
It is weird to call a child your husband or your wife. It creates a weird sort of unhealthy attachment that can easily be taken advantage of if an adult intends to.
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