It’s the end of the month, and like clockwork, maintenance week begins. Hair appointments. Nail refills. Brow grooming. Pedicures. Waxing. Massages. It is equal parts pampering and obligation. I have to restock skincare, debate if that new serum is worth the risk, and remind myself that self-care isn’t supposed to feel this stressful.
As women, we do so much just to look good and even more to feel good. Somewhere between the masks, the appointments, and the endless routines, it’s easy to forget that beauty is supposed to be deeper than the surface.
For years, beauty has been painted with a fine brush, flawless skin, slim waists, perfect hair, and an effortless glow. But the truth is, beauty has never been effortless. It’s labour, it’s learning, and lately, it’s also unlearning.
In this feature, five people share the things they’re unlearning about beauty, lessons that have shifted how they see themselves beyond what social media, money, or makeup defines. From realising that water alone doesn’t fix everything to embracing natural beauty as work, their reflections prove that beauty isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery.
1. Ife — “Beauty is a Mix of Mindset, Money, and Knowing Yourself”
For Ife, beauty used to be a simple formula: drink enough water, mind your business, and your glow-up will follow. But over time, she learned that true beauty isn’t just about external glow, it’s about self-awareness and evolution.
“Drinking water and minding your business makes you beautiful,” she says with a laugh. “But I’ve also realised that knowing your personality helps you understand your style. When you know who you are, you express yourself better in what you wear, how you show up, and how you carry yourself.”
She also acknowledges a harsh truth many silently agree with: money plays a role.
“No one is ugly; money just makes everyone beautiful. When you can afford self-care, treatments, good food, and stress-free living, you look different.”
Still, she’s learning to balance both worlds. “Glowing skin is always a plus,” she adds. “But I’ve learned that your confidence and personality shine louder than your skincare routine ever will.”
2. Chidinma — “You Don’t Have to Do Too Much”
Chidinma’s unlearning journey started in her skincare cabinet. Like many women, she got caught up in the hype, new serums, fancy acids, and ten-step routines. But after battling reactions and wasting money, she discovered that less is truly more.
“You don’t need to do too much to have great skin or look beautiful,” she says. “All those hyped products might not even be the best for you.”
Her biggest lesson? Listening to her skin.
“My skin doesn’t need to look like someone else’s. I’ve learned to understand what works for me, not what influencers say should work.”
For Chidinma, beauty now feels quieter. It’s no longer about chasing perfection but about embracing ease, the kind that comes from understanding your body and trusting it to tell you what it needs.
READ ALSO: Why I’m Adding Topicals Faded to My Skincare Routine After A Month
3. Tehillah — “Natural Beauty Still Takes Work”
Tehillah’s biggest unlearning came with a dose of reality.
“I used to think being natural meant little maintenance,” she confesses. “You know how people say things like Botox, fillers, or BBLs are hard work because of constant maintenance? I thought going natural would be the easy route.”
It wasn’t.
“Even with natural beauty, there’s serious maintenance. You have to go to the gym at least three times a week to stay fit. Eat healthy. Stay consistent with skincare and hair care. It’s a full-time commitment. If anything, it’s harder because there’s no quick fix.”
Now, she views beauty as a form of discipline, one rooted in self-respect, not pressure.
“I’m learning that taking care of myself doesn’t mean I’m trying to meet a standard. It means I respect my body enough to keep it healthy and happy.”
4. Gloria — “Your Body is Beautiful in Every Version”
Gloria’s story is one many can relate to. She’s lived through multiple body types: slim, thick, and chubby, and with each phase came unsolicited opinions.
“I’ve experienced extreme weight fluctuations,” she says. “People would say things like, ‘I liked when you were chubby,’ and I’d feel pressured to go back to that version of me.”
For a long time, she tried to chase that version, only to realise it wasn’t worth the stress.
