1 week ago
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Unfortunately, setting these limits and boundaries has become more tricky, especially with more emphasis on the limitation of coercion, bribes, and threats.
These days, you don't have any option other than to build “calm and firm limits" with your kids and any other kid that stays with you. I understand the struggle to not pull out your whip and force them to do what you want to.
Well, there are other effective ways to set boundaries corporal beyond punishment. Here are some of them you should know.
Define the boundaries
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As an experienced public school teacher who has had to handle thousands of children, one of the first lessons I learned about children's discipline is clearly defining your boundaries for their expected behaviours.
The truth remains that we train people on how we want them to act in different scenarios based on the boundaries we set and how we respond to them. So, you must set boundaries on different issues and clearly communicate them to your kids.
Don't leave room for second-guessing when it comes to what you want. This way, they can know what you expect in different situations.
Define consequences
Whether we like it or not, consequences are important in pushing people to adhere to boundaries and principles. I'll usually advise parents to write down boundaries in papers and have their kids co-sign it.
This makes it look like an important document that they must follow. Well, you should also spell out the consequences of breaking each boundary. Allow them to make suggestions about appropriate consequences before eventually signing it.
Spell out to them that the consequences are not intended to punish them but to protect them from behaving badly in the near future.
Look for lessons
When it comes to training kids, the real reason for discipline should be to teach rather than to punish. So, I always advise parents to fashion every disciplinary measure toward teaching kids. So, fashion every disciplinary action so that children can see the lesson. Ask them questions like:
What they learned from the action
What do they think they should do differently
If they were parents, what would they do?
This way, they'll learn valuable lessons and won't forget them quickly.
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Reward positive reinforcement
Reward good behaviours by rewarding compliance and praising efforts. Positive reinforcements typically motivate kids to respect limits without fear of punishment.
Model respectful behaviour
More often than not, kids learn from what they see and observe. So one of the most effective ways to teach good behaviour is to maintain good behaviour yourself.
Develop patience, self-control and polite communication. You'll be surprised at how much your child will learn by simply imitating what you've modelled regarding kindness and self-control.
English (US) ·